Friday, September 5, 2008
Self Doubt
For some time now, I've been tossing around the idea of going back to work. I've been a stay at home mom and wife for the last 15 years and truthfully, I don't know where to start and I'm not really even sure I want to. Before staying home, I worked for a law firm and loved my job. I had great bosses and didn't have to worry about the boys because my amazing mom took care of them. After Billy was born, it was more than apparent that I needed to be home with my kids. When I first quit, I was worried that more would be expected of me as a mom because I was home full time. For some reason, when I worked I felt I had an excuse if the laundry wasn't done or if I forgot to send in the kids field trip money or God forbid, I lost my temper and smacked one of them on the butt. Well now, it's 15 years later and I'm worried about how I can fit back into the working world. I've considered everything from working for another law firm to being an aide on the school bus to working at McDonalds. Seriously, I made a comment to one of my friends the other day that at least if I worked at McDonalds I wouldn't have all eyes on me waiting for me to fall on my face. Yes, there are some people out there just waiting and hoping I do just that. I figured a no brainer job would be the safest job. Now, I have Sarah Palin who seems to be wonder woman haunting me. Not only does she have 5 kids she also wants to be the Vice President of the United States of America. Don't get me wrong, I am all for confident strong women, I have sisters who have successful careers and kids and grand kids. I'm just having a moment of doubt and wondering how I can "do it all" without sacrificing something or someone. I've been told that just because you have occasional self doubt, it doesn't mean you really doubt yourself. That's a good thing to know.
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10 comments:
I don't think that women should have to "do it all". As for Palin being a "super mom", she has money & lots of help w/her 5 kids. When a 17 yr old gets pregnant, then I really don't think that Palin was doing a very good job of being "mom", do you?
I read you blog every once in a while & I think that you are doing a great job & don't think that you should really care what others think or say about you! When all is said & done, your kids will be the ones you should base your success on & how they live their lives & treat others.
That's just my humble opinion.
Annie, you already do everything, and am a super Mom. As far as adding a job that brings in money it's just another thing and really isn't nearly as big a deal as we make it. Women do it all most of the time because it seems like the best thing at the time. We can all look back and say what if I was home more, what if I did or did not do something. In reality we do the best we can and no one should judge us except our father in heaven. You & Bob have laid the foundation and nurtured your boys into near adult hood. They are a testament to your success. From you they learned to respect others, give love, feel empathy and compassion, be responsible, and even how to enjoy life and have fun. Work brings in some money, sometimes gives you satisfaction and always is work, (that's why they pay us) I think we give our outside jobs much too much power over our lives and need to keep them in perspective. Margie
I think the daughters of super moms get pregnant the same way super moms got pregnan, some before they walked down the aisle and some after. This is not a smudge of concern regarding if someone is a good mom or not. By the way isn't it enough to do your very best with love and care and committment in all you do? Why does anyone think they have the right or responsibility to judge another? Why is everything Mom's fault. and is it also Mom's fault that unmarried young men & women are having sex, or does it become a fault and a judgement of questionable parenting when an innocent baby is involved? hmmmmm
Wow, I certainly don't believe that anyone truly thinks that a young girl or boy becomes teenage parents because their mother had a job.
Being a mom of young men, it's a worry even for this stay at home mom. It's just as much a concern and trust me, it's a topic that is discussed in our home way more than our boys would to hear!
Anne
i say stay home dust off the china wash the floors scrub the tub with 5 dirty men at home i bet it could use it then cook dinner do your laundry pick up joe drive billy and if anybody wants to say you should stay home tell them to kiss your ass now get a job uncle Herb
Thanks for the kick in the ass Herb!
Wow This has really gotten interesting....
Once you get out into the work world the fist thing you will find is everyone falls on their face once in a while. There will be those who will try and wash your face in the mud puddle you fell in and those who will help you clean up the mess. You will quickly realize that the people who want to wash your face in the mud are the people who have the most self doubt. It is those who try and help "clean up the mess" who are truly accomplished.
There is no more challenging job then staying at home sliding in the slop and with over 15 years of experience "cleaning up the mess" you will be amazed at how qualified you are to do anything your heart desire.
A wise Woman once told me that nobody gets anywhere with out the Grace of GOD so say your prayers and get out there. You will be amazed at what you find.
I told you I have amazing sisters, thanks for all the encouragement.
Uncle Herb isn't too bad either!
Good Morning All ! This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad..... at least for part of it. I too have amazing siters and brothers and thank God for them all the time. We really can't do it all.. we just make it look like that often enough that some people including ourselves think it can be done. I think we at times surprise ourselves at our abiities. It might be in the work force, or getting our kids dressed and off to school, or after a fantasitc family party that we take a deep breathe and say we made it. My biggest challenge as mine were growing up was getting to church on time and finding the right shoes for everyone. My first prayer as I sunk into the pew was Thank You God, You must have really wanted me here because against all odds,I made it.
If we had a calendar printed with our faces air brushed and pasted on wonder woman's body we could remind ourselves how awesome God has made us. As long as it is His will we can do it ! Luv Yu
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