Just to clear somethings up

Last night, I mentioned that I was going to watch Desperate House Wives and Brother's and Sister so that I could relax and just maybe escape from my own crazy reality. Well, instead, it left me awake with so many thoughts going through my head. First, after making sure all the boys had their mom quality time, and that my hubby and I shared some of our time and he was fast asleep snoring, I needed to prepare for Joe's upcoming "three year IEP" evaluation that I will attend tomorrow morning at 8:30. So, while trying to gather my thoughts and game plan for the upcoming meeting, I found myself emotional and overcome with fear and doubts not about Joe, but about myself. It's so important that I have "all my ducks in a row". It's me walking into this meeting by myself with 6 or so called professionals. Well, I began to cry and become overwhelmed. My mind wandered to thoughts of how many other Mom's have difficult nights trying to juggle just the normal everyday struggles let alone this stuff. As the tears ran down my face silently, I decided it would be best to get up and go downstairs and write down the feelings that were taking over my every thought. So, that's where I came up with "A Mother's Tears". I'm not the only Mom who has found herself up late at night listening to the sounds of her sleeping family and have had to cry silently so not to disturb them. "A Mother's Tears" have lead to a few phone calls tonight wanting to know what the heck was going on with me at 1:30 in the morning and also who had forwarded it to me. Theses are all my words, but I'm sure they are not exclusively my thoughts, So, if you read my words and you can relate to them, please know that you are never crying alone. If you are one of the Mom's who haven't found yourself there yet, count your blessing.

Tonight, just over nine hours before my meeting, I'm feeling strong but sleepy (thanks to a few "Advil P.M.'s) I know that there won't be any tears tonight but I'm confident that I haven't shed the last one quite yet.

Please take a moment around 8:30 tomorrow morning to say a quick prayer for me and all the other Mom's that find themselves fighting for their kido's.

(update) Thanks to everyone that remembered to say a prayer for me this morning, everything went very well. You need to know that I become extremely emotional during these meetings and it takes pinching myself to keep myself from crying. No pinching was necessary today. There's a good chance that Joe will now be able to receive O.T. services along with his speech services he receives at school. There was a representative from POHI that will evaluate Joe and see if he qualifies for occupational therapy. We have had Joe in private O.T.,P.T. and Speech since he was two years old and it sure will be nice having a little extra help from the schools. We will never stop his after school therapy but any additions at school can't hurt. I have to go back in a month to get all the results and see where we go from there.

Ok, I googled "A Mother's Tears" just out of curiosity and their are certainly many different poems, song, and books under that title. So, I can't take credit for the title but the words are mine.