Been Searching for the right words

So much happening in my life and in the lives of so many people that I love and care about but still, I find myself lost for the right words.

I've tried to blog so many times in the last few months but I have to say it's been very difficult. It's certainly not that there's not anything to talk about, it's just that I'm having a very difficult time not only wrapping my own mind around it let alone writing about it.

First and foremost, my sister in law Judi and my brother Jim are in need of every one's prayers. They didn't get the best news the other day in regards to Judi's cancer. The tumors have grown and she just went in to have her lungs drained yesterday. The plan is to start her on a new chemo drug on Wednesday and we all pray that this will put a stop to the growth of these tumors. This certainly is not the best news but also, they are not giving up either. God works miracles in his own fashion and I'm asking everyone to storm the heavens with prayers for Judi. She is so strong and determined and if anyone can do this, it's Judi. Please Please pray for her during this most difficult time. "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

My nephew Jason after already serving in Iraqi and being severely injured in a road side bombing, has been called back for duty. He's been officially out of the Marines for almost two years and has been pursuing a career in Law Enforcement. I'm once again, lost for words, this is very scary and in my personal opinion, "bullshit". Enough is enough. Will this war never end? Please keep him in your prayers.

From the daily struggles of the ones we love who are fighting to save their marriages, for my nephew Paul's life to take a change in the right direction and that God keeps him safe. The recent surgery that our sweet baby Joe had on the muscles in his eye. Our dear sweet Chelsea Anne who struggles every day with her challenges, My niece Faith who has to at such a young age, stay out of the sun during the day, wear special protective clothing and take injections of steroids with the hopes that her autoimmune disease with soon be in remission. I think daily of Ben, Bob's cousin's little guy who is autistic and his family and how difficult just venturing out to a family party is. To the recent teen pregnancy of a family friend, To my young nephew's 20 year old friend who is in the hospital tonight with cancer fighting for his life. I'm saddened for not only him but for the dreams that have been taken from his parents. Please remember all these very important people in your prayers. Life lately just seems pretty harsh. I know that so many families are facing so many of the same everyday struggles right now and I hope that they too have people in their lives who love them and care for them and most importantly pray for them.

We all live with the daily worries that our kids are struggling in school or that they don't have friends or that they are working too hard to juggle school and work at the same time or if we as parents are "pushing" them to much or if we are just helping them to prepare for a future that most honestly won't be easy. I think that is pretty typical of so many parents these days. I will always remember my Mom saying when talking about teenagers, "it's by the grace of God they survive", she was so wise and so true.

I don't want to make this entire blog entry so depressing but if I'm going to be honest, it's definitely been a God searching few months for me. It hasn't been easy for me to connect lately.

I don't want anyone to think that I'm not grateful for all the wonderful blessings in my life. Because I am so thankful for so much in my life. I thank God every day that my boys are healthy and happy and that Joe made some awesome leaps and bounds this summer. I haven't in any way lowered my expectations for this young man of mine, I just am able to appreciate even the smallest accomplishments. Bob and I agree the greatest joy this summer has been to see Joe consistly walk down the steps one foot after the other. Seems pretty simple stuff you would say but after almost five years of reminding him and practicing with him to put one foot in front of the other, we find ourselves crying each time not because it's taking him so long to get this, but because he's got it. He's finally got it. To see the pride he feels walking down the steps like everyone else, it such an amazing gift from God. It's been one of my many special prayers at night and God answered it. Not five years ago, when I first started begging, but now and it is so incredibly sweet. Billy has finished his first official week in high school and is loving it. Anyone that knows the anxiety that this kids suffers from should know that God has heard and answered our prayers for this young man of ours. He's happy and excited each day as he walks out the door. I've been waiting for the day since he was in 3 year old preschool.(truly)

Sometime when I feel as if I'm helpless when the people I love and care about are suffering, I need to remind my self that it doesn't take long to ask God to be by their side and take care of them. Sometimes, that's all any of us can do.

I have so many just everyday happenings going on right now. From the walk out project to spending an evening out with family and friends to a special day we have planned for Sunday at the Annual Fun Day for Exceptional Families. This is a special day that is sponsored by Joe's amazing doctor, Dr. Susan Youngs. But for now, I will wait to share these moments until I give myself permission to feel overwhelmed and saddened and sometimes depressed by life and everything good and bad that's part of our journey here on earth.

I ask God tonight/this morning to work his miracles to lessen the pain and burdens that his children suffer from on a daily basis. Amen