Camping

Since Mike and Chris were at camp all week we decided to take Bobby, Billy and Joe and go up to the trailer for a few days. Bobby was able to take a few days off from work and he doesn't start his summer classes until next week so he came along too. Lots of dirt, airsoft guns, 4-wheelers, a little bit of archery,some fireworks, bonfires, and did I mention, a lot of dirt. We had a great time I caught up on some of my reading while the boys did their thing. We spent some time in Ludington but it was pretty windy and kinda chilly. Joe amazed us with some pretty intense conversations, he very frequently will says, "are you old Mom" frequently like sometimes 20 times a day. What's funny is he asks me more often on the days that I don't do my hair or put makeup on. Well, lately, he's been concerned with me dying. As much as I reassure him that I'm not old and that I'm probably going to live until I'm 100, he continues to ask. We were driving along and he says, "Are you old Mom" and I say as usual "No Joe". This time, he said as clear as day, "If you die and the boys are gone, who is going to help me"? I was instantly shocked first that it came out so clear and then, we were all just silent. Bobby speaks up and said that he would always be there to take care of him and I sat there trying not to cry. Later that night, we were sitting around the campfire and Joe once again out of the blue says "If you die Mom I want Sarah to be my Mom". Again, Bobby tells him that Sarah would be if anything ever happened to Mom. What's amazing is that Joe has probably been worried about this for a while and just figured out how to put it all together and share it with us. What's so wonderful is that even though he still asks me "Are you old Mom" it's not with the same tone and concern. I know that Bobby was able to ease his fears and reassure him that he would always be there to take care of him. The way Joe sees it, if I were gone, so would be his Dad. He truly looks at us as one. This kid has so much going on in his head, and he's starting to figure out how to get it out.

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